Over Phone Vet Consulation

I have spoken to Xena's vet. The diarrhea and vomiting are a problem and he wants her to stay overnight for testing. That would be an overnight stay $500 +

The severity of Xena's bee sting allergies put her at high risk of having to be taken in for shots several times a year. Clearly as the injections haven't worked completely she will have to have them again.

We talked about this and it is going to add up to $1000s each year. It is a severe life long condition. She will be suffering and even the medicines will cause damage in the high doses she will need.

He recommended I take her to an animal shelter. I said no, because the next person who gets her will end up putting her down anyway due to the expenses.

I also said because she is my dog and shes a good dog and I don't want her suffering to continue on over time. The medications cant fix this problem, they can only help her not to die from it. She is still a weak and sick dog.

He said I need to bring her in soon due to the vomiting and diarrhea. Really the only kind thing we can do is have her euthanized and the vet agreed and said he was sorry.

I got off the phone with him and bawled my eyes out. I tried to phone the breeders to check if the parent dogs had any known allergies/ conditions that may help us but they weren't there. I called Xena's dog trainer but shes off work till tomorrow due to Easter.

I spoke to my eldest daughter about Xena's illness but haven't told her about putting her to sleep. She wouldn't be able to handle it and right now I'm trying to keep myself together emotionally.

I told her that is we gave her up to the vet then he could find someone who works in that field to take her and they'd be able to give her the medicines she will need. She seemed ok with that.

I had to go run some errands and cried in the car. Ive come home now. I feel numb. How can I take her back to the place that she was born, to the people that held her a she was cut from her mothers womb and ask them to put hold her with me while she dies?

I should be taking her now but can't bring myself to do it. I want more time with her. I mean you know when you get a dog that one day it will die,but you hope that its after they've had a long life.

You wonder things.... I wonder if Xena ever would have survived in the wild as a natural dog, with her mothers csarian, with her extreme nervousness when I first bought her. With her severe bee sting allergy. It's unlikely.

What's sad is that with all the work put in, the puppy classes, obedience school, training and lots of love she really has become a wonderful dog who was well loved by family and friends.

And it just hurts.