Well I'm starting to take seriously Xena's growling. I was thinking that it may because she is sick. But, I just read a good article about dogs and aggression and can now see she has had the early signs of an aggressive dog right from the beginning.
1. She was a puppy who didn't like to be around other dogs, quite scared.
2. She growled at us when we she was little but we did what the trainer said and put food on her nose.
3. She attacked my youngest daughters head while she watched TV
4. She has growled at me when I didn't put her food bowl down- fast enough the other day. She was in the sit/ stay position at the time.
5. She growled at my oldest daughter last night when she came through the sun room door (where Xena was) into the living area (No Xena zone)
6. She blocked the doorway and growled at older daughter this morning.
Xena will do what a male asks her to do but doesn't do what I ask unless the rewards are high.
I am positive that the vet is correct. She needs training for a dominant dog. I don't think she should be around my children any more. I feel there is too much risk. She is medium sized puppy now and big teeth haven't come through yet. I don't trust her at all with my girls anymore.
I'm disappointed because everything I read about ridgebacks they are fine with children. But, maybe its in the training.
I don't have the skills to deal with a large, dominant dog. I can be honest about that. I also have children, who come before a dog.
If my partner was here I am sure he could have this pack order thing sorted out very quickly and he wouldn't have a problem getting her to do what he wants. But he is not here and cant expect me to be him in his place if I don't have that personality. I don't know of any trainers here in this little city that could trainer her... being that rewards only training is the politically correct thing here.
Therefore, the stress of a dog that has allergies, a dog that is trying to become pack leader, a dog that in a month or two will have big, sharp teeth and a dog that is not respecting us has lead me to the following decision...
I need to give her up. She needs a male owner who has had large dominant dogs before. We aren't the right people for her.
And no matter how much we love her or how some people will think that we are awful for not continuing with her.
MY CHILDREN COME FIRST.
And Xena has had a good start, a lot of love and care and has at least learnt to be fine with other dogs and some basic training.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Clothes on the Line
Xena has discovered that pulling clothes off the line is a lot of fun. It's not so fun for me to rewash over and over. I hang them out, she brings them down soon after I go inside.
Amazingly I don't have endless time to guard my clothes line. I will be setting up some repellent traps for her, meanwhile I have a heap of washing to do and she will have to go on the chain until they are dry.
If she was at home by herself all day I could understand. But we are here and going out to play with her quite often.
She is not happy when we go inside without her. This morning my 12 year old played with her for about 20 minutes. Then she tried to come into the house to have her breakfast and Xena blocked the back door and started growling at her so she wouldn't go in the house.
I really do think Xena's personality has changed since that bee sting. She isn't the same dog no matter what the reasons for it are. I don't let the youngest daughter go outside to her anymore.
I spoke to her trainer and the girls need to drop treats into her food bowl.
We will keep working on it.
Amazingly I don't have endless time to guard my clothes line. I will be setting up some repellent traps for her, meanwhile I have a heap of washing to do and she will have to go on the chain until they are dry.
If she was at home by herself all day I could understand. But we are here and going out to play with her quite often.
She is not happy when we go inside without her. This morning my 12 year old played with her for about 20 minutes. Then she tried to come into the house to have her breakfast and Xena blocked the back door and started growling at her so she wouldn't go in the house.
I really do think Xena's personality has changed since that bee sting. She isn't the same dog no matter what the reasons for it are. I don't let the youngest daughter go outside to her anymore.
I spoke to her trainer and the girls need to drop treats into her food bowl.
We will keep working on it.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Where Puppies Go When They Pass Away
It is called Rainbow Bridge because of its many colours
hills, valleys with lush green grass
When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this special place
There is always food and water and warm spring weather
Those who are maimed are made whole again
There is only one thing missing
So each day they run and play until the day comes
when one suddenly stops playing and looks up !
The ears are up !
The eyes are staring !
And this one suddenly runs from the group !
You have been seen, and when you and your special friend meet,
you take him or her into your arms and embrace
and you look once more into the eyes of your trusting pet
Author Unknown
Monday, April 5, 2010
I just met the nicest vet since James Heriott!
I took Xena to the vet near our house because I couldn't get an appointment in at the other vet. I hadn't found this out until we drove there. All the way she was licking my face, looking out at the motorcycles, pedestrians and cars. She was looking so adorable and being such a good girl. I held it together well. I knew I had to do what had to be done. But I enjoyed the car ride with her. I almost drove off and went to the beach with her but stopped myself. Can't keep putting it off.I was day dreaming and wishing that Xena and I could have gone for our walks and just hung out together like mates. I arrived at the vet clinic. It's just a little place, tucked away at the end of an old row of shops. It has a couple of large trees shading the car park and some shrubbery planted in the entry... which of course Xena romped through.
We went inside and wow, what a lovely cosy little waiting room. It felt so homely. I could have been sitting in Grandmas sun room! There was a big old Golden Retriever inside, whom Xena wanted so much to cuddle. But, out of respect for the older dog I kept her away. There's a time and place for everything.
I had expected Xena to be a bundle of super dog enthusiasm but she was being rather well behaved. She still needed to do her hound dog thang and sniff every surface before flopping down at my feet.
You remember how I told you Xena seems to prefer males to female humans. Well usually she does the whole big uncontrollable puppy thing to the female vets she has seen and they go grab all their nurses and try to hold her down.
Not this vet. He came out. An older gentleman with snowy white hair and crystal blue eyes. I noticed he didn't have even a line on his face, which means he is either a very calm person or he's had botox. He kind of made me think of a fit, shaved Santa Claus. LOL.
She followed him into his room. He scooped her up and popped her nicely on the table and gave her a pat and told her to sit (once). She sat there as her checked her ears and looked in her eyes. Only getting up to have a thermometer stuck up her bum... which she didn't seem to mind at all hehe.
Xena has lost 5kg (about 11lbs) since the bee sting 4 1/2 days ago. He said the medicine wears off after about 12 hours so he didn't think her sudden 'turns' were due to the bee sting.
He did think that the reasons for her 'turns' was due to her being irritated by the hives and unable to focus on commands from us. He also felt that she may be beginning her teenage 'Need to find her place in the pack and that she is going through a dominance thing.'
Which, is so nice to hear because you just don't hear people talk about training dominant breeds of dogs anymore. He told me he didn't believe that Xena had a bad bone in her body nor did he believe that food reward based training would be effective for her, no matter how much she loves food because... well "she's just not a beagle"! (his words lol)
So this is the plan of action.
1. Low does antihistamine medication 1 tablet ever day. But she can have up to 4 tablets in a day if the hives show up. He thinks the hives are environmental like pollens and this should help her as she builds her immunity up. She should also start eating again as she wont be feeling so sick. This won't be long term as they aren't good for her long term. But probably till she's 6 months old.
2. A new dog trainer, who understands the training of Dominant breeds of dogs. Although I will continue with the classes she is already in as well. The vet said Xena's rewards should be attention and affection. If she isn't behaving- she gets none of that from us.
3. At home- she needs to know her place in the pack. The only thing that has changed around the same time as the bee sting was me letting her in the house. Since then she has been rivaling with my youngest daughter. So no more coming in the house.
4. No more puppy milk or milk products. 90% of the time this is what causes diarrhea. She doesn't need them (regardless of what the manufactures say) and can get her calcium from other sources.
Of course all this means is that my partner, who has had a lot of big dogs in his life and has been saying this all along, was right and I was wrong.
So I called him and told him so. But you know what, he didn't even care... he was just so happy she was alright and didn't have to be put to sleep.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Final Days
I will be taking Xena to the vet tomorrow morning. The girls are going out for the day and I will let them know Xena needs to go see the vet for observation. This will give them a chance to say goodbye without being upset all day.
I have decided I will tell them the truth about putting her down. They need to know. I will have the day to cry and can deal with their tears in the evening.
I wish I had been able to take Xena to the beach. We never got to go. I think she would have loved running on the sand.
She will never know what spring feels like either.
I'm going to cry again. She brought a lot of joy and laughter into our lives and although everything in me is trying to find ways to avoid tomorrow, it has to be done.
***
Next morning...
I cried almost all of yesterday. I don't usually cry... not much of a crier at all. Woke up with swollen eyes. Xena hadn't eaten her dinner and isn't touching her breakfast either.
What confuses me is that she still has enough energy to look bright and happy to see us. She is behaving very normally although her condition is clearly not good.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I rang another vet (where she had her emergency treatment) and they suggested she may have food allergies. That this bee sting allergy could have made her allergic to everything and she could try a 6 week elimination diet and use only hypoallergenic dog food and added 'but if you can't be bothered.' !!! God that pissed me off. Its not about not being bothered. I am watching my dog deteriorate in front of my eyes and I don't want to mess about for the next 6 weeks while she's in pain.
At the same time I wish I didn't have to put her down. I looked up allergies and the food elimination diet can take up to a year to figure it all out. It is also less effective than the shots she has already had.
If the shots she has already had are ineffective then it is just masking the problem.
Allergies are a symptom of internal problems like low immunity / hormonal problems the dog may already have. Dogs with severe allergies (like Xena) usually go through these sets of different vet tests/ treatments etc.... but still are suffering until by 2 years old they are in so much suffering they are put to sleep.
I don't want my dog used as a guinea pig, drugged up and having to endure needles and discomfort only to make my vet richer and to have to put her to sleep anyway.
I also wouldn't give my dog up to a vet because I wouldn't want her ending up in some animal testing lab. No that that was on offer, I'm just saying.
I just want to do what is right for my dog. The whole moralistic, ethical and humane debate is doing my head in. If there was any way for her to live a healthy life free from pain and drugs I would take it.
I wouldn't dump her on a shelter either. I think shelter staff have enough to deal with with the unloved dogs of the world, let alone taking my loved one. It's not fair on staff or their very limited budget and it may take another dogs space that really needs it. Xena is also a fearful dog. She has improved but I'm sure she would revert into her shell and be terrified in an animal shelter.
Oh anyways. It's morning and I'm still not at the vet yet. Once again I'm putting it off and trying to contact some more people to get more opinions to see if I've missed anything. I don't want to put her to sleep only to find out later it wasn't necessary.
Midday...
Xena has still not eaten her breakfast. She is sleeping a lot and when she is up is a bit listless. I told my eldest daughter that we will probably have to put her down. She took that quite well. She wants to be there when it happens. I'm not sure about that. Right now she's is sitting outside with Xena, hand feeding. The dog is nibbling a little and wanting lots of cuddles and petting. Xena has always been an affectionate dog but the last couple of days even more so, when her new Mr Jeckle personality doesn't pop up and start growling.
Xena even lept up and mouthed my eldest on the cheek yesterday but there was no growling. My daughter was hurt and thought she was bleeding but wasn't.
She got me in the evening too, seemed like she wanted a hug then mouthed at my face. It hurt but didn't break the skin. As it didn't seem to be meant to be aggressive- just naughty mouthing which she hasn't done before we weren't to concerned.
But she snapped at my youngest last night which was accompanied by a terrible growl and I raced in and shoved her away from my daughter's skull/ hair... guess what, my daughter still wanted to play with Xena! These a brief Mr Jeckle turns and go as quickly as they came. Of course I'm not letting the younger one go near her at all now.
The only reason I am letting my older daughter is because she has always loved animals and has been waiting a couple of years to be old enough to volunteer work with them. I think she needs to take it as it comes. She has a very calm and quiet nature and most animals like her. If I told her not to it would be like saying I didn't believe she was capable of caring for a sick animal and really I think she is. I think she is exactly the type of caring person and animal would want around it when its feeling unwell.
Xena is sneezing a lot today. We also noticed her doggy odour is really strong to where you can smell it a meter away from her. She usually doesn't have a strong smell. Her lumps, which we now know are hives, are inceasing in number as well.
My son pulled me up about 30 minutes ago... "Mum, go take the dog and have it put down. Your just putting it off."
5pm Kisses and a Hand Shake
Do dogs know when to say goodbye? I now believe they do. I went outside and washed Xena. Her skin is loose on her belly. No matter how much I wish she would get better, she isn't.
The girls played with her and she ran around with them a while. She sneezed some and her eyes are a bit crusty.
Then I took some final photos of her with the kids. She gave them lots of cuddles. Then I ws talking to Xena as she sat in front of me and she raised her paw. As I have never taught her to shake hands I thought maybe there was a problem and checked it. The girls clicked a photo. She began kissing my face. And I let her. Kiss, kiss, kiss. I swear this dog is killing me.
My kids were disgusted in an 'ewe mum don't you know she licks her bum ewweee' way but you know I honestly didn't care. I really felt like she was saying goodbye.
6pm Mr Jeckle Returns.
I took Xena's food out and she growled and lunged at me. I had to push her away with my foot. Not hard, she paused and looked at me in a confused way like she hadn't done anything. I left her to eat and went back later as she was fine again.
I'm sitting in here crying. I know its time. I know tonight will be her last night home. And for some silly reason the song Ruby Tuesday comes to mind.
So here it is.... Good bye Xena.
She would never say where she came from
Yesterday don't matter if it's gone
While the sun is bright or in the darkest night
Nobody knows she goes and goes
Goodbye ruby tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still i'm gonna miss you
Don't question why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained
To a life where nothing's gained
And nothing's lost at such a cost
Goodbye ruby tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still i'm gonna miss you
There's no time to lose i heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time lose your dreams
And you will lose your mind ain't life unkind?
Goodbye ruby tuesday
Goodbye ruby tuesday
Still i'm gonna miss you
Goodbye ruby tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still i'm gonna miss you miss you
Next Day
Yes I know... the days are passing by.
Anyone who didn't know Xena wouldn't have thought she was sick this morning. Not the way she was pinging around the back yard like superdog. Ripping the clothes from the line, ignoring my requests for her to 'leave it' and tearing around like a lunatic dog.
But that's the thing... that isn't the Xena we know. Normally Xena is an excitable dog who races up to us and scoots in on her bum for petting. She will jump around all happy but about 2 meters away from us as she she's her food. Then she will sit and wait for me to give her the command to eat. She doesn't move until I say 'eat.'
Today she was not racing up to us, she was simply racing all over the place. even my 12 year old came in totally exasperated saying she was totally out of control this morning, but 'is she better or not cuz one minute she's sick and weak and the next she's crazy?!'
All I can say is... she isn't the Xena we know and I still believe she is not well. But when I see her all energized I think to myself God, how can I put her down? Except that I am also wondering if she was left with some brain damage from that bee sting because you may as well just through all her puppy classes and obedience work out the window. She is acting like a completely untrained, well... kinda wild dog!
The girls have gone out for the day and I looked out the window at Xena and watched her a while. She was laying down but looked very 'on guard' and twitched her head to any sound. She is acting so strange. I'm a little scared of her right now.
And I am so confused. I think I have gone through so many enotions in the last 4 days.
Sadness, extreme sadness
Barganing with myself
Wishful thinking
Denial
Fear
Anger- at myself for allowing myself into taking the 'runt' for buying an unregistered dog, for buying a dog from the paper
Disapointment
Feeling sorry for myself- why my dog, why after all this training and care and love
More anger- Its not fair, some people have dogs they abuse and dont love that have long miserable lives- why my dog, she's so young
Betrayal- Why are vets so expensive, why do they do things the way they do them
Guilt- at not taking her to be put down earlier, guilt cuz maybe its still to early
None of these rational or logical but unavoidable feelings.
And most of all - all those feelings totally mixed up.
And what's worse is
I know its NOT about me at all. It's about the dog and that makes me feel even more guilty!
Then I wonder things that only prove I am as going as crazy as the dog...
Why do I have a staue of St. Francis in my house - if it isn't working (mind you the cats ok so I wont be getting rid of it)
Maybe someone put 'the evil eye' on us (totally superstcious)
Where is God in all of this?
Where is God in all of this?
I have to keep my faith to pull through this.
Now Im crying again.
I am going to take her now. If I can catch her to get a lead on her. I hope she doesn't bite me. She's all over the place she may just give me kisses.
Time to go.
And you know what.... I've had long term partners I've loved less than this dog. She has taught me to love and to cry. Wow how dogs can touch you.
I have decided I will tell them the truth about putting her down. They need to know. I will have the day to cry and can deal with their tears in the evening.
I wish I had been able to take Xena to the beach. We never got to go. I think she would have loved running on the sand.
She will never know what spring feels like either.
I'm going to cry again. She brought a lot of joy and laughter into our lives and although everything in me is trying to find ways to avoid tomorrow, it has to be done.
***
Next morning...
I cried almost all of yesterday. I don't usually cry... not much of a crier at all. Woke up with swollen eyes. Xena hadn't eaten her dinner and isn't touching her breakfast either.
What confuses me is that she still has enough energy to look bright and happy to see us. She is behaving very normally although her condition is clearly not good.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I rang another vet (where she had her emergency treatment) and they suggested she may have food allergies. That this bee sting allergy could have made her allergic to everything and she could try a 6 week elimination diet and use only hypoallergenic dog food and added 'but if you can't be bothered.' !!! God that pissed me off. Its not about not being bothered. I am watching my dog deteriorate in front of my eyes and I don't want to mess about for the next 6 weeks while she's in pain.At the same time I wish I didn't have to put her down. I looked up allergies and the food elimination diet can take up to a year to figure it all out. It is also less effective than the shots she has already had.
If the shots she has already had are ineffective then it is just masking the problem.
Allergies are a symptom of internal problems like low immunity / hormonal problems the dog may already have. Dogs with severe allergies (like Xena) usually go through these sets of different vet tests/ treatments etc.... but still are suffering until by 2 years old they are in so much suffering they are put to sleep.
I don't want my dog used as a guinea pig, drugged up and having to endure needles and discomfort only to make my vet richer and to have to put her to sleep anyway.
I also wouldn't give my dog up to a vet because I wouldn't want her ending up in some animal testing lab. No that that was on offer, I'm just saying.
I just want to do what is right for my dog. The whole moralistic, ethical and humane debate is doing my head in. If there was any way for her to live a healthy life free from pain and drugs I would take it.
I wouldn't dump her on a shelter either. I think shelter staff have enough to deal with with the unloved dogs of the world, let alone taking my loved one. It's not fair on staff or their very limited budget and it may take another dogs space that really needs it. Xena is also a fearful dog. She has improved but I'm sure she would revert into her shell and be terrified in an animal shelter.Oh anyways. It's morning and I'm still not at the vet yet. Once again I'm putting it off and trying to contact some more people to get more opinions to see if I've missed anything. I don't want to put her to sleep only to find out later it wasn't necessary.
Midday...
Xena has still not eaten her breakfast. She is sleeping a lot and when she is up is a bit listless. I told my eldest daughter that we will probably have to put her down. She took that quite well. She wants to be there when it happens. I'm not sure about that. Right now she's is sitting outside with Xena, hand feeding. The dog is nibbling a little and wanting lots of cuddles and petting. Xena has always been an affectionate dog but the last couple of days even more so, when her new Mr Jeckle personality doesn't pop up and start growling.
Xena even lept up and mouthed my eldest on the cheek yesterday but there was no growling. My daughter was hurt and thought she was bleeding but wasn't.
She got me in the evening too, seemed like she wanted a hug then mouthed at my face. It hurt but didn't break the skin. As it didn't seem to be meant to be aggressive- just naughty mouthing which she hasn't done before we weren't to concerned.
But she snapped at my youngest last night which was accompanied by a terrible growl and I raced in and shoved her away from my daughter's skull/ hair... guess what, my daughter still wanted to play with Xena! These a brief Mr Jeckle turns and go as quickly as they came. Of course I'm not letting the younger one go near her at all now.
The only reason I am letting my older daughter is because she has always loved animals and has been waiting a couple of years to be old enough to volunteer work with them. I think she needs to take it as it comes. She has a very calm and quiet nature and most animals like her. If I told her not to it would be like saying I didn't believe she was capable of caring for a sick animal and really I think she is. I think she is exactly the type of caring person and animal would want around it when its feeling unwell.Xena is sneezing a lot today. We also noticed her doggy odour is really strong to where you can smell it a meter away from her. She usually doesn't have a strong smell. Her lumps, which we now know are hives, are inceasing in number as well.
My son pulled me up about 30 minutes ago... "Mum, go take the dog and have it put down. Your just putting it off."
5pm Kisses and a Hand Shake
Do dogs know when to say goodbye? I now believe they do. I went outside and washed Xena. Her skin is loose on her belly. No matter how much I wish she would get better, she isn't.
The girls played with her and she ran around with them a while. She sneezed some and her eyes are a bit crusty.
Then I took some final photos of her with the kids. She gave them lots of cuddles. Then I ws talking to Xena as she sat in front of me and she raised her paw. As I have never taught her to shake hands I thought maybe there was a problem and checked it. The girls clicked a photo. She began kissing my face. And I let her. Kiss, kiss, kiss. I swear this dog is killing me.
My kids were disgusted in an 'ewe mum don't you know she licks her bum ewweee' way but you know I honestly didn't care. I really felt like she was saying goodbye.
6pm Mr Jeckle Returns.
I took Xena's food out and she growled and lunged at me. I had to push her away with my foot. Not hard, she paused and looked at me in a confused way like she hadn't done anything. I left her to eat and went back later as she was fine again.
I'm sitting in here crying. I know its time. I know tonight will be her last night home. And for some silly reason the song Ruby Tuesday comes to mind.
So here it is.... Good bye Xena.
She would never say where she came from
Yesterday don't matter if it's gone
While the sun is bright or in the darkest night
Nobody knows she goes and goes
Goodbye ruby tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still i'm gonna miss you
Don't question why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained
To a life where nothing's gained
And nothing's lost at such a cost
Goodbye ruby tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still i'm gonna miss you
There's no time to lose i heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time lose your dreams
And you will lose your mind ain't life unkind?
Goodbye ruby tuesday
Goodbye ruby tuesday
Still i'm gonna miss you
Goodbye ruby tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still i'm gonna miss you miss you
Next Day
Yes I know... the days are passing by.
Anyone who didn't know Xena wouldn't have thought she was sick this morning. Not the way she was pinging around the back yard like superdog. Ripping the clothes from the line, ignoring my requests for her to 'leave it' and tearing around like a lunatic dog.
But that's the thing... that isn't the Xena we know. Normally Xena is an excitable dog who races up to us and scoots in on her bum for petting. She will jump around all happy but about 2 meters away from us as she she's her food. Then she will sit and wait for me to give her the command to eat. She doesn't move until I say 'eat.'
Today she was not racing up to us, she was simply racing all over the place. even my 12 year old came in totally exasperated saying she was totally out of control this morning, but 'is she better or not cuz one minute she's sick and weak and the next she's crazy?!'
All I can say is... she isn't the Xena we know and I still believe she is not well. But when I see her all energized I think to myself God, how can I put her down? Except that I am also wondering if she was left with some brain damage from that bee sting because you may as well just through all her puppy classes and obedience work out the window. She is acting like a completely untrained, well... kinda wild dog!
The girls have gone out for the day and I looked out the window at Xena and watched her a while. She was laying down but looked very 'on guard' and twitched her head to any sound. She is acting so strange. I'm a little scared of her right now.
And I am so confused. I think I have gone through so many enotions in the last 4 days.
Sadness, extreme sadness
Barganing with myself
Wishful thinking
Denial
Fear
Anger- at myself for allowing myself into taking the 'runt' for buying an unregistered dog, for buying a dog from the paper
Disapointment
Feeling sorry for myself- why my dog, why after all this training and care and love
More anger- Its not fair, some people have dogs they abuse and dont love that have long miserable lives- why my dog, she's so young
Betrayal- Why are vets so expensive, why do they do things the way they do them
Guilt- at not taking her to be put down earlier, guilt cuz maybe its still to early
None of these rational or logical but unavoidable feelings.
And most of all - all those feelings totally mixed up.
And what's worse is
I know its NOT about me at all. It's about the dog and that makes me feel even more guilty!
Then I wonder things that only prove I am as going as crazy as the dog...Why do I have a staue of St. Francis in my house - if it isn't working (mind you the cats ok so I wont be getting rid of it)
Maybe someone put 'the evil eye' on us (totally superstcious)
Where is God in all of this?
Where is God in all of this?
I have to keep my faith to pull through this.
Now Im crying again.
I am going to take her now. If I can catch her to get a lead on her. I hope she doesn't bite me. She's all over the place she may just give me kisses.
Time to go.
And you know what.... I've had long term partners I've loved less than this dog. She has taught me to love and to cry. Wow how dogs can touch you.
Kissing From the Other Side of the Window
I will lick your face and tease your hair..
I will,
I will :o)
Over Phone Vet Consulation
I have spoken to Xena's vet. The diarrhea and vomiting are a problem and he wants her to stay overnight for testing. That would be an overnight stay $500 +
The severity of Xena's bee sting allergies put her at high risk of having to be taken in for shots several times a year. Clearly as the injections haven't worked completely she will have to have them again.
We talked about this and it is going to add up to $1000s each year. It is a severe life long condition. She will be suffering and even the medicines will cause damage in the high doses she will need.
He recommended I take her to an animal shelter. I said no, because the next person who gets her will end up putting her down anyway due to the expenses.
I also said because she is my dog and shes a good dog and I don't want her suffering to continue on over time. The medications cant fix this problem, they can only help her not to die from it. She is still a weak and sick dog.
He said I need to bring her in soon due to the vomiting and diarrhea. Really the only kind thing we can do is have her euthanized and the vet agreed and said he was sorry.
I got off the phone with him and bawled my eyes out. I tried to phone the breeders to check if the parent dogs had any known allergies/ conditions that may help us but they weren't there. I called Xena's dog trainer but shes off work till tomorrow due to Easter.
I spoke to my eldest daughter about Xena's illness but haven't told her about putting her to sleep. She wouldn't be able to handle it and right now I'm trying to keep myself together emotionally.
I told her that is we gave her up to the vet then he could find someone who works in that field to take her and they'd be able to give her the medicines she will need. She seemed ok with that.
I had to go run some errands and cried in the car. Ive come home now. I feel numb. How can I take her back to the place that she was born, to the people that held her a she was cut from her mothers womb and ask them to put hold her with me while she dies?
I should be taking her now but can't bring myself to do it. I want more time with her. I mean you know when you get a dog that one day it will die,but you hope that its after they've had a long life.
You wonder things.... I wonder if Xena ever would have survived in the wild as a natural dog, with her mothers csarian, with her extreme nervousness when I first bought her. With her severe bee sting allergy. It's unlikely.
What's sad is that with all the work put in, the puppy classes, obedience school, training and lots of love she really has become a wonderful dog who was well loved by family and friends.
And it just hurts.
The severity of Xena's bee sting allergies put her at high risk of having to be taken in for shots several times a year. Clearly as the injections haven't worked completely she will have to have them again.
We talked about this and it is going to add up to $1000s each year. It is a severe life long condition. She will be suffering and even the medicines will cause damage in the high doses she will need.
He recommended I take her to an animal shelter. I said no, because the next person who gets her will end up putting her down anyway due to the expenses.
I also said because she is my dog and shes a good dog and I don't want her suffering to continue on over time. The medications cant fix this problem, they can only help her not to die from it. She is still a weak and sick dog.
He said I need to bring her in soon due to the vomiting and diarrhea. Really the only kind thing we can do is have her euthanized and the vet agreed and said he was sorry.
I got off the phone with him and bawled my eyes out. I tried to phone the breeders to check if the parent dogs had any known allergies/ conditions that may help us but they weren't there. I called Xena's dog trainer but shes off work till tomorrow due to Easter.
I spoke to my eldest daughter about Xena's illness but haven't told her about putting her to sleep. She wouldn't be able to handle it and right now I'm trying to keep myself together emotionally.
I told her that is we gave her up to the vet then he could find someone who works in that field to take her and they'd be able to give her the medicines she will need. She seemed ok with that.
I had to go run some errands and cried in the car. Ive come home now. I feel numb. How can I take her back to the place that she was born, to the people that held her a she was cut from her mothers womb and ask them to put hold her with me while she dies?
I should be taking her now but can't bring myself to do it. I want more time with her. I mean you know when you get a dog that one day it will die,but you hope that its after they've had a long life.
You wonder things.... I wonder if Xena ever would have survived in the wild as a natural dog, with her mothers csarian, with her extreme nervousness when I first bought her. With her severe bee sting allergy. It's unlikely.
What's sad is that with all the work put in, the puppy classes, obedience school, training and lots of love she really has become a wonderful dog who was well loved by family and friends.
And it just hurts.
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